Sunday, June 3

What the Faygo?

Today we sadly mourn the loss of one thong, one very nice flowery red bra, and two pairs of the most luscious heels ever to walk the streets of Atlanta... no, not like that, you pervs!

What the Faygo?

Steve Madden is turning over in his grave...oh wait. He's not dead yet....but if he was, he would be.

There needs to be a version of Taps playing in the background. The culprit is a 12lb Fox Terrier-Dalmation mix named Gadgit. We call him Doggie. I swear to God, if this dog eats another pair of SOMETHING, I'm going to kill it. And trust me, no amount of yelling and swatting will do ANY good.

Yes, ladies and jay-walkers, this dog is DEAF. The only recourse I have against this mutt is a squirt bottle, and THAT doesn't even work. He's "developmentally impaired" as my sister in law so lovingly says.

If this little shit eats my pair of $100 Michael Kors (even though I need a new pair anyways), his head will be beautifully mounted on the wall of my new apartment.

Then of course, said Doggie has the habit of WHINING everytime you put him in his crate. To make matters worse, my brother came home from a long and extremely messy night of drinking and is now pissed off because doggie won't quit. So I left. I neeeeed my own place. I can't take much more of this. It's driving me bonkers...even though I was already there a while ago....

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