Remembering Ted Kennedy

My mother once met Ted Kennedy on a flight to NY.

She called me when she landed and said 'guess who I was just on an airplane with?' It was so cute. Considering everyone she had worked with in the music business that was the first time I ever heard her sound like she had just met a rock star.

It's sad to lose him at a time when he was still so passionately involved in the current issues and when he still had so much work to do. Nancy Reagan had some wonderful things to say about him, which I think is rather appropriate and very telling about the true spirit of the man. He did defeat Reagan's attempts to reverse his personal labor of love, the Civil Rights Act, that polarizing issue that got Reagan elected in the first place (and that still seems to be at the heart of the animosity between the 2 parties almost 30 years later).

Regardless of how far we have come in our fight to make this country truly equal for all of its citizens, the fact is that there is still fear of racial equality being dramatically served up to the masses and a portion of the population who want to believe it and who thrive on drama and reactionaryism) and yet he never allowed politics to prevent him from being there when his support was needed.

I worry now about who will take his place. Whether you loved him or hated him it cannot be denied that he was the embodiment of pertinacity. He never gave up when he thought a cause was worthy and he had no fear of taking heat. His outspoken opinions and his willingness to fight the long battles made him a key component in keeping a certain equalibrium when the scales were tipped dangerously close to Orwellian paranoia. He was never politically correct, yet he was correct in his politics. All Americans should have a voice in our political system, and when they did not he could be counted upon to be their voice. And he would never back down in the face of attack.

No matter what personal faults and flaws he had as a man, he truly was a man of the people. All people.

"Yes, we are all Americans. This is what we do. We reach the moon. We scale the heights. I know it. I've seen it. I've lived it. And we can do it again."
--Democratic National Convention, August 2008



Technorati Tags: Ted Kennedy, politics, memorial, mourning, news

Home Again

I arrived in the middle of the night. The past couple of weeks have been nothing if not surrealsitic. I've stepped into my past. The visit home was good for my soul. I was able to go back to the places that I lived when I was growing up. I drove those old familiar streets and gazed upon the houses that I lived in when I was little, seeing them through my adult eyes was such a differnet perspective. The houses that once seemed so huge to me now seem so small.

The house that I was born in has now been razed and the corner lot is a vacant expanse of grass in an otherwise full neighborhood. I was told that it burnt many years ago and had to be demolished. Still, I took a picture of where it once stood.

I took many pictures on my trip. I'll share them soon.

But for now I'm working my way back to normal. It was wonderful to feel the embrace of my family. It was even more wonderful to look at the old family photos.

Thank you all for your love and support.





Technorati Tags: woodnotwood

Skins

I'm finally back after battling it out with my router.
Technology can be a beautiful thing. And then it either gets deprecated or stops being supported. That's why I've always believed that percussive maintenance is the best solution when technology runs amuck. Somebody has to be the alpha machine.

And as Murphy said "If it jams - force it. If it breaks - it needed replacing anyway."

I've been wearing my Redskins windbreaker for the past week with a black armband. Flying my true colors.
My brother was taken from us a few days before Christmas. I understand the pain that Sean Taylor's family must be going through right now. I know the questions. Who? Why?
My thoughts and prayers are with them tonight.
I understand exactly where Jason Whitlock's head was when he wrote this article about black on black violence. His words captured everything that I felt in my heart when my brother was taken from us but could not express.

I've been a long-time Washington Redskins fan. I was a fan before their 1983 Super Bowl win against the Dolphins, and even after flying to Miami to personally witness the humiliation of 'Black Sunday'.

Hail to the Redskins
Hail Victory
Braves on the Warpath
Fight for old D.C.


May they continue on and make Sean proud.

Technorati Tags: Redskins, Sean Taylor, woodnotwood

HNT Soulmates

Last night we went to the cemetary. Cheyenne needed some time alone with Lona so I drove her there, then I drove to the end of the street and talked to O on my cell whilst Chey sat by the graveside and talked to Lona. We lit candles and placed them all around so that she would have some light.

We were there until 2AM.

Most of the graves in the cemetary, including Lona's, have solar lights around the headstones. As I sat in the car and waited I couldn't help but notice that all of the lights scattered across the cemetary were the same white-blue color as the stars in the sky above. It looked as if the sky was merely a reflection of the lights on the ground.



There are also windchimes on shepherds hooks near the headstones, two windchimes by Lona's grave. They produce a beautiful sound all around as the cool night breeze sweeps across the grounds. We went to the cemetary last Sunday to put out windchimes and as we worked a small tornado developed in the trees near her grave. We stood and watched as it swirled the trees around and lifted the leaves from the ground and up into the sky. We all felt sure that it was Lona sending us a message of her approval, her windchimes whipped around in the wind as if she were playing with them.

The next morning when I dropped Cheyenne off at school the same thing happened again. As Chey went to enter the front doors a small up-draft began near her and lifted the leaves off of the ground. They encircled her and landed in her hair. It was the most amazing thing I've ever seen. She turned to me and said 'I think Lona's here. I think she just gave me a hug.'

I believe that too, my sweet girl.
I believe she is all around you and enveloping you in her love every minute of the day. She'll always be a part of you.

Shhhhhhhh Yourself

This is Cheyenne's friend Lona singing 'Beautiful' at the International School of the Arts. She tried out for American Idol, but was declined because she's British.
Music was the one constant and passion that defined their relationship. Two girls who sang beautifully together. With Lona's passing Cheyenne seems to have lost her desire to sing. For Now. I hope it will return soon. I miss hearing her singing as she walks through the house.



I don't want to talk much about the last post. I'll just say that the Candlelight Memorial went well, as contradictory as it feels to write that. There's more to be done. Viewing tonight at her home and Funeral on Tuesday. I'm busy making slideshows out of her pictures with her friends. Her family has turned over more than 1300 photographs of her and her friends for me to make memorial videos for them and for her friends to use on MySpace, Facebook and their blogs. It's heartbreaking work. But, being a mother myself, I understand how important it is to them that their daughters memory carries on.

We'll have something to share soon.

Cheyenne says 'Thank You' for your well wishes.
She can't seem to say more at the moment.

HE WOULD HAVE TURNED 29 TODAY

I will never forget you. See? Upon the palms of my hands I have written your name.
Isaiah 49:16


This is the second time we've had to celebrate your birthday without you here.

I miss you little brother.
Our family just isn't the same without you.
It seems so much smaller.

If you were here with me today I would take your hand in mine and tell you how much you mean to me. How I still think of you every day. How much I wish I could pick up the phone and hear your voice on the other end of the line.

It has been a year and a half since you were taken from me, but still I can hear your voice in my ear just as clearly as if you were in the room with me.

Your laughter still rings in my ear so clearly... as if I had only just heard it yesterday.

The redbird you have chosen as your earth bound form has visited us all.
It has been a soothing presence to look outside the window and see you sitting there, watching over us.

From the first day that the redbird walked up to mom and dad's door and began tapping on the glass we have felt your presence with us. And what a wonderful greeting on the first morning after their move back into the 'old' house to see the very same redbird sitting on the patio, sending a message that where ever they are... you are there too. They could sense that you were happy that they finally went back 'home'. For that house is surely the one we all think of as home.

The redbird came and perched on our patio table this morning.

I guess you must have heard me crying in the dark last night.
I wonder... is that you in your chosen earth-bound form? Come to watch over us?
Or is it simply your chosen messenger? Sent to let us know we are never alone? That you are never far from us?

I want to say more to you... I have so many words, but for now I cannot stop the tears from flowing and my heart aching from missing you. I had the most difficult time just making myself get up and get dressed today. Facing this beautiful sunny day has been a terrible challenge.

I miss you so much I can barely breathe.



Long is the way and hard, that out of darkness leads to light ...
Milton (Paradise Lost)
Out of context I know, but still these words haunt my thoughts.

I am listening to 'Live Like You Were Dying' by Tim Mcgraw, letting the tears flow. Crying like a girl.

It is not lost on me how hard you would be laughing at me right now for being such a sissy wimp.

Peace Up ATown


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If I knew

If I knew it would be the last time
That I'd see you fall asleep,
I would tuck you in more tightly
and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.

If I knew it would be the last time
that I see you walk out the door,
I would give you a hug and kiss
and call you back for one more.

If I knew it would be the last time
I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise,
I would video tape each action and word,
so I could play them back day after day.

If I knew it would be the last time,
I could spare an extra minute
to stop and say "I love you,"
instead of assuming you would KNOW I do.

If I knew it would be the last time
I would be there to share your day,
Well I'm sure you'll have so many more,
so I can let just this one slip away.

For surely there's always tomorrow
to make up for an oversight,
and we always get a second chance
to make everything just right.

There will always be another day
to say "I love you,"
And certainly there's another chance
to say our "Anything I can do?"

But just in case I might be wrong,
and today is all! I get,
I'd like to say how much I love you
and I hope we never forget.

Tomorrow is not promised to anyone,
young or old alike,
And today may be the last chance
you get to hold your loved one tight.

So if you're waiting for tomorrow,
why not do it today?
For if tomorrow never comes,
you'll surely regret the day,

That you didn't take that extra time
for a smile, a hug, or a kiss
and you were too busy to grant someone,
what turned out to be their one last wish.

So hold your loved ones close today,
and whisper in their ear,
Tell them how much you love them
and that you'll always hold them dear

Take time to say "I'm sorry,"
"Please forgive me," "Thank you," or "It's okay."
And if tomorrow never comes,
you'll have no regrets about today.