Thursday, June 28


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I wish you were here to wrap your arms around me and kiss me, feel your hands move along my body as you caress away the worries that have been nagging at my mind.

Today it poured.
The heavens opened and torrents fell around me like tears from a bitter sky. They moved and danced like lovers, joining and parting as they rolled down my window. The wind was whipping the trees into a frenzy that caused them to howl their own tormented lament at being treated so carelessly.

Yet, inside it was warm. It was safe and the candles mixed with the numerous lamps to illuminate and shield me from the threatening darkness.

In that place I heard the words that made the violence of the storm, the thunderous racket, dissolve. I fell into the familiar cadence, the rhythm of the words, and found my comfort there. Words so sweet, so seductive and a voice that has become, in some way, my home, my heart, my other voice. The one that lives in my head when not present to speak to me. My twin, my simulacrum, my perfect reflection. The part of me that makes me whole. Complete.

You are not bound nor tamed by iron, though the delicacy of silk and the allure of gentle words may be stronger. No, you are chained and bound, even haunted, by your own elusive need.

I sat and listened. I read and pondered, and I felt sheltered, protected from nature's bitterness all about me. I knew I was in my right place.

No one else has loved me with an encouragement that moves me beyond a simple longing. If it were that, I could never leave because it is this vapor that has no substance and blows away with the smallest breath. No, I am snared by your lure, and can never leave.

I felt the longing, the ache that seems to be a constant companion. I felt as always, the hunger, the craving, yearning for connection. In the those words I felt his need and experienced his burning desire. My hand reached out as if to draw it to me and I rested securely in its sure embrace.

I am still on vigil. I will return soon.
For now...
I did manage to get my post up on Menage a Trois tonight.
It is about better times. It is about love and romance. It is about the joy of sex and fulfillment of the body.

Body Remember
Body, remember this moment. Remember the feeling as his hands caressed you gently, as he whispered, lips pressed against your skin. Remember how his muscles moved under your fingertips, the salt taste of his skin against your tongue. The low growl as he lost himself inside you. Body, remember this moment that you shall have him again and again.

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Sunday, June 24


His headstone is shiny black granite.
I think he would have liked that.
It catches a vision of skies overhead and reflects your own face back at you when you read the inscription. There are flowers etched in the stone. As beautiful and intricate as he was.
With each visit the face reflected back reveals grief less and less.
Diminished devastation from that first glimpse.
There is a place for flowers there on the top.
A thing I've never used.
It would be too much to return and see them dying.
I leave that be.

Thinking of the day
When you went away
What a life to take
What a bond to break
I'll be missing you
P. Diddy
I'll be missing you

Today is my brother's birthday.
I miss him as much now as I did then.
The vigil continues.
We wait.
We watch.
We pray.
We keep him and his memory close to our hearts.

Happy Birthday Little Brother

If I knew

Thursday, June 21

Nerd Hot

Some of us think geeks are hot.
Six packs are highly over-rated. Give me a geek with a Blackberry and a sense of humor any day of the week.

This is so much better than the 300.
It's a hot, sexy geek fest.

I'm getting moist already.

HNT - Radio Days

This HNT goes along with this post. Thought you might enjoy a look at The Beast herself.

There's nothing quite like breaking into the booth and holding a dee-jay hostage until he plays your record... record? Yeah, some of us were around when they actually played records on the radio. heh
This photo made it into R&R ;)
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Dyan skipped the whole college radio experience. She went straight to work in 'real' radio at Z93 in Memphis. Here she is giving Nick Carter a station tour. Of course, that was before he became a reality show casualty.

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This is my boyfriend who did my promos.
'No, Your ears aren't deceiving you... You're rocking with the beast.'
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The three words that best describe him...

See the Half Nekkid Man himself.

Monday, June 18

A Moment of Silence

The stars are not wanted now; put out every one,
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun,
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the woods;
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

Funeral Blues -- W.H. Auden

Today there will be no music, just a moment of silence for the passing of Li Zhao.

Please stop by Lone Sloan Delirius and send them your messages of peace and healing as they venture forward after the loss of Li to cancer.

To my friends at LSD, who have been there for me during my trials, I send this message; the words of T.S. Eliot, because his words encompass my thoughts more than my own ever could at this time.

Not fare well,
But fare forward, voyagers.

-- T. S. Eliot

Sometimes we must move forward,
not happily,
and not with joy.
We must move forward, because there is no way to move back.

My thoughts and prayers are with you my friends.
Your friend,

Sunday, June 3

What the Faygo?

Today we sadly mourn the loss of one thong, one very nice flowery red bra, and two pairs of the most luscious heels ever to walk the streets of Atlanta... no, not like that, you pervs!

What the Faygo?

Steve Madden is turning over in his grave...oh wait. He's not dead yet....but if he was, he would be.

There needs to be a version of Taps playing in the background. The culprit is a 12lb Fox Terrier-Dalmation mix named Gadgit. We call him Doggie. I swear to God, if this dog eats another pair of SOMETHING, I'm going to kill it. And trust me, no amount of yelling and swatting will do ANY good.

Yes, ladies and jay-walkers, this dog is DEAF. The only recourse I have against this mutt is a squirt bottle, and THAT doesn't even work. He's "developmentally impaired" as my sister in law so lovingly says.

If this little shit eats my pair of $100 Michael Kors (even though I need a new pair anyways), his head will be beautifully mounted on the wall of my new apartment.

Then of course, said Doggie has the habit of WHINING everytime you put him in his crate. To make matters worse, my brother came home from a long and extremely messy night of drinking and is now pissed off because doggie won't quit. So I left. I neeeeed my own place. I can't take much more of this. It's driving me bonkers...even though I was already there a while ago....