I understand the theme song for Senator David Vitters (R-LA) next campaign is going to be P.I.M.P. by 50 Cent. And he's promising a little sumpin sumpin for the mami's and all of his street peeps for helping him keep it real.
We're down with ya D-to-the-V.
You got sKreet credZ Wanksta!
In the meantime his lovely wife recently went shopping in the Victoria's Secret 'Jungle Love' section. She bashed Hillary for standing by Bill. Maybe she's got plans of her own? If I were a married woman in Louisiana I'd be locking up my husband for a while. She looks like she's about to blow!
She's been quoted as saying she'd be more like Lorena Bobbit than Hillary Clinton if she ever found out her husband had cheated on her. I bet he hasn't slept a wink in days.
To clear up a common misunderstanding; when he compared same sex marriage to hurricanes Katrina and Rita-- he was actually talking about Katrina and Rita-- two lesbian strippers at the 'Loose Lips Sink Ships' club around the corner from his office.
And there is no better protection for 'The Sanctity of Marriage' than Trojan condoms. Vitter recommends Twisted Pleasures. He says size doesn't matter.
Just remember... Don't judge them. They've got this whole 'family values' thing all tied up. Just need to incorporate some 'I paid-for-sex, but I made it home before her souffle fell' rhetoric and they'll be back to business as usual. I understand she's working on a cookbook too. 'Bitter Vitter: Recipes to keep your husband away from the brothel'. I've heard most of the recipes include large doses of chocolate ex-lax. That should keep him near the house for a while. On the other hand, it might not.
I have to admit to feeling absolutely sickened by the fact that he stood behind his wife and let her defend him. So much for standing by your man.
I bet right now he's thanking God Adam gave up that rib.
PS. Now I keep having visions of his face mid-coitus.
Dear God. Please. Make it stop!
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