Rules for commenting in the Forbidden Zone

Get your hands off my blog you d@mned dirty apes!

Welcome to the bi-annual, semi-simian, american anthropoid meeting of the Swirling Monkey's Babble Study Group.

The rules for this revival have been firmly set forth as follows:

1) You are required to comment only in Turret Zpeak as described in our invite to David. *Who has in no way agreed to be affiliated with us, but we don't care. We are apes, he is human. We will give him the hose if he dares to argue. Nothing worse than an uppity human.*

Like this:
I would f*ck sh!t h&ll love to join your sh!t b!tch group.

Right now I don't have a sl*t f*ck car. Can I n!pple @ss f*ck ride with you b!tch motherf*cker sh!t?

* This rule was never approved by David, but we shall blame him anyway - because he is young, attractive and we have a sneaky suspicion that he can zpeak. Something we loathe in our humans.

2) You must use zymbols in your Turret Zpeak, as in *&%$#@!!!.
Like all good Christian blogger-apes we may well approve of saying curse words, but not in writing them. Oh H&ll NO! We will heretofor refer to this as the 'Jocelyn Loophole'. *Don't ask why. Just seems like an appropriate name for a loophole.*

3) Please do not bite your neighbor.

4) Please refrain from picking fleas from your neighbor during lectures. There's plenty of time for that during the Orangutan's Reception after the group study.

5) Ants on sticks will be served after the meeting.
*This is 'bring your own stick week', Do not bother thumping your fists on the floor or pounding your chest if you forgot your stick. Besides prehensile hands (and feet, you lucky apes) you were also blessed with four opposable thumbs (except Curious George who should never have been allowed into that bakery without the guidance of the Man in the Yellow Hat) and a higher-than-human IQ --there is no excuse for not remembering to pick up your stick and bring it with you.

6) Please refrain from throwing poo until the guest speaker has finished his lecture. Anyone caught throwing poo during the lecture will be forcibly removed by the Gorillas and hosed in a 'human cage'.

7) Members of the Army of the Twelve Monkeys are forbidden from attending lectures. There are only seven of them as you well know. We feel it is a poor reflection upon all primates that they cannot count.

I am so sorry

Really I am.



Tonight we mourn...


and...


and....
Well I think I got the whole lot of them on the last one...


Unfortunately, I don't think this little guy is going to survive the night...

Shhhhhhhhhhhhh

Don't look at me.
I'm invisible.


Really...
Nothing to see here folks.
Keep moving.

Beware of Ants

Don't tread on an ant
he's done nothing to you
There might come a day
When he's treading on you
Don't tread on an ant
you'll end up black and blue
You cut off his head
Legs come looking for you

A Waking Dream

I awoke in the night covered in perspiration. My heart was racing still from the dream. I was alone in the dream. I was panicked and running from something that was loud and destructive following just on my heels. There was nowhere to run, nothing but sea all about me. I stared into the nightmare waves as the sound of footfalls drew near and, raising myself on unsteady legs, I contemplated plunging into the sea or waiting for certain death that was fast approaching on the fleetest of feet.

I awoke with a start. My breath still held in my lungs and I reached to push the heavy blankets away.

Like one that on a lonesome road
Doth walk in fear and dread,
And having once turned round walks on,
And turns no more his head;
Because he knows a frightful fiend
Doth close behind him tread.
Rime of the Ancient Mariner~Samuel Taylor Coleridge


It was in this place of not-quite-awake-yet that I felt him there. Felt his body molded against mine. Felt his warm breath on my shoulder. The feeling was so real I immediately thought I must be dreaming still. I settled back under the covers and let my eyes close. My heart was still racing from the nightmare that had woken me.

I lay there, drowsing in and out, feeling secure in his arms, feeling his presence absolutely. I did not want to wake up. I did not want the feeling to leave me. I wanted to stay there just a little longer, to make the feeling stay as long as possible.

I wonder why he came to me last night? Did he realize that I needed him like never before? Did he just need to be with me? Was it me comforting him in my bed this morning or was it him comforting me? I cannot help but wonder if he felt me wrapped around him too?

And when did he leave?

He was there for quite some time, but when I finally awoke to the sound of music coming from my bedside alarm, I realized that he was no longer there.

The place where I had felt him was cold. The gooseflesh had risen on my arms and legs and I hunkered back under my blankets. I could still feel where he had been. Some residual sensation of long, tan fingers upon my thighs. I felt their strength, their raw, wanting maleness in the way they whispered caresses upon my body. The way they brought me to fevered release.

My mind is pushing the memory away, but the body cannot forget.
The heart cannot stop the desire.



*Scrabble Update:
Players in this game, and their final scores:-
Player 1 : T your final score is 266
Player 2 : K your final score is 287
Sorry T, but you lost by 21 points.

Yeah, I went out, but she beat me.
Not a bad score against a snobby Literature Professor at Radcliffe.
Of course she and I are playing while she is lecturing at Magdalen.
I think that means she has the advantage. It's morning for her while I am burning the midnight oil. And her view is much nicer.

PS. I told you I didn't have the Q!


The gauntlet has been thrown.
The next game is on.

You have scored a total of 32 points, for the word(s)
CLOAK (32)

Players in this game, and their current scores are:-
Player 1 : T your score is now 32
Player 2 : K your score is now 0
T, you are currently leading by 32 points.

Magdalen

Who for thy sake would give their manlihood
And consecrate their being; I at least
Have done so, made thy lips my daily food,
And in thy temples found a goodlier feast
Than this starved age can give me, spite of all
Its new-found creeds so sceptical and so dogmatical.
The Garden of Eros ~Oscar Wilde

I have always had this wanderlust side of my spirit that prevents me from feeling comfortable if I stay in one place too long. Not necessarily that I like to move so much as I need to move about. I hate moving. Packing sucks, unpacking is the fun part.

I've always considered home more as a home base. A place to leave stuff you don't need for a trip. All through high school and college I traveled every weekend with my best friend Paige. We would leave our tiny little East Coast town and set out, map and tent stowed in the seat behind us, and go where the wind took us.


Now my restless spirit is screaming for release once more.
I want so badly to go to the UK. I have been to London, Reading and Oxford.
I traveled to London with friends. We hit the pubs and saw West Minster Abbey. We teased the Bobbies and tortured the guards outside Buckingham Palace, trying to get those poor fellows to crack a grin, but no. Stone faces. We watched the changing of the guard through the huge wrought iron fence. Rode on the top of double-decker buses and saw Big Ben and the Tower of London.

I drifted through the Ivied walkways of Oxford alone though. Magdalen. Solitary in my wandering. My being of no more substance than that of the spirits whose voices filled the air, reciting verse, left long in the past. My mind wandering with my feet. Thinking to myself 'here Oscar Wilde once walked also' and CS Lewis. Then I thought.... hmmmm and Dudley Moore? That made me giggle. What an amazing thing to think that my feet were falling in their hallowed footsteps.

Would it sound odd to say that I was actually glad to be alone on this journey? Not if you saw my traveling companions. If Paige had been with me then, yes, it would have been an incredible adventure. Twice the fun not to have to keep it bottled up. But Paige had gone off to college and I went off to Europe, so I carried her with me in my heart there. Thinking of the things she would have said if she had been with me.

I have a friend lecturing now at Magdalen. I wonder if she sees what I saw on my journey there? I wonder if, after so many visits, it has lost the ability to charm her as it did me? That enchantment that burned itself forever upon my memory. Frozen now. Glimpses, like snapshots, that roll in succession until they make motion and my feet hit those weather-beaten bricks once more. My thoughts find their own words.


And so tonight I sit and remember, as dark clouds hover above and the sky cracks open to release it's tears upon my world. I remember my stroll down sunny lanes and gazing out of the window as the train rushed me to new adventures. I remember a world so far from my own.

I long for it tonight.

Blog Move In Progress

The new blogs are up and *almost* running.
I'd like to thank the team of monkeys who have been helping so selflessly.

Here's to you all.
*naughty hot monkey butt love*